Atmosphere
by Erilis
Summary: Set a little ways after New Moon. Bella can't seem to accept that Edward won't leave her. Just how can he prove otherwise? Songfic, using tobyMac's "Atmosphere".


**Atmosphere**  
_Feat. tobyMac's "Atmosphere"_

As she slumped against the base of the tree, Edward's cold, bloodless hand slowly and steadily gripped hers. "So, what are you thinking?" he asked, seemingly for the millionth time that evening. Sure, his not being able to read her mind was frustrating to him, but imagine how much trouble it was causing _her_, having to listen to his constant questions about it?

It didn't help that she had something on her mind that she wanted to avoid talking about. That horrible time, when he'd left her, when she was completely at the mercy of her overwhelming emotions. There couldn't have been anything worse than that, thinking he didn't love her, thinking he didn't need her...

"Bella?" he persisted, his golden eyes turning curiously on her, "Bella, are you okay?" His expression was troubled; he knew the pain he caused, and wouldn't let himself get over it. No matter how many times she'd told him, he wouldn't let it die.

_I know you keep a journal, and every page is rippled,  
From ideas that you've cried, ain't no meaning to your scribble  
'Cause words can't describe what you've been feeling inside,  
It's like thousand-foot walls and they're still on the rise._

"Yeah, Edward, I'm fine," she assured, glancing back at him, becoming completely lost in his lovely gaze. The way he looked at her, so lovingly, so tenderly... how could she ever had doubted that he'd still loved her?

Other than, of course, the fact that he was a good liar? "Well... except that..." She trailed off. She couldn't bring herself to talk about it. That was too painful a chapter in her life, too much for her.

Edward frowned. "Oh, wait." He understood it now. It wasn't very long ago, actually, that he'd returned; he could tell that she was still healing. He himself was, too. Their seperation and its effects had been all but singled out on her. "Bella, don't ever think that."

"Think what?" she asked, her voice a quiet whisper, "What do you think I'm thinking?"

_But look up to a beautiful sound  
And see for yourself you're not that far down  
And know this: I cannot love a little  
My promise to you is unconditional._

"Bella, I can read you pretty well now." The whole thought that she was still completely closed to him was rather foolish, his face seemed to acknowledge. "I know something's wrong. And I'm a little certain of what it may be about."

_Oh my God,_ she thought, biting her lip and looking away, _not now. I don't want to talk about this now._ Suddenly her chin was caught between his middle and index fingers and his thumb, her face turned until it faced his.

"When is it going to get through your thick head that I'm here?" For some reason, his words sounded more teasing than anything. His expression, however, read differently. "Bella, I'm still here, and I won't leave you until you want me to go. What's so hard to understand about that?"

_And I'll keep the light on, for you.  
Just keep the course, you can weather the storm  
I'll keep the light on, for you.  
You've come this far, don't you ever lose hope, now._

A pang of guilt ran through her heart. She wanted desperately to believe him, to know that she knew that she knew that she knew that he loved her, but she just couldn't make sense of it in her mind. Why, after all, would someone as lovely, radiant, _immortal _as he was take an interest in someone as plain, normal, and _mortal _as she?

Edward caught her face's meaning. "And you're still not convinced. Of course not." He released her face, sighing in frustration and leaning his head back against the tree again. As he shut his eyes, a smile crept at his mouth as she took his hand again. "Or are you?"

Again, Bella bit her lip. "Edward, I... I just feel like I'm so close to you leaving again. I know I love you, but... how can I know you do?"

As if in perfect answer, Edward had pressed his lips against hers, softly and tenderly, before pulling away. "Bella, just where have I been ever since I came back?"

_Just turn around and I'll be there,  
I'm movin' into your atmosphere  
Just turn around and I'll be there,  
I'm movin' into your atmosphere_

She couldn't argue with that logic. He'd slept next to her (or, rather, lied there) pretty much every night, followed her around, watched her every move, kissed her like he always had. He'd been there with her, all through everything. "Well, I guess... I still have trouble getting over all that happened. You know, like... all that stuff before you actually came back." Mostly referencing the little schism that had occurred in their lunch table there.

Edward smirked a little. "Your true friends are the ones that hang around," he said, almost sagely, "even when you're completely bat-eff-insane." Well, that certainly described those months without him for her: bat-eff-insane.

_I know you're all alone in a crowd full of friends,  
I can see it in your eyes that you're fading again.  
Checking out, moving into your hole,  
Where the light can't touch any part of your soul._

"You know that I really won't leave you, right?" he asked again, glancing half concernedly at her. "Never, so long as my heart beats... err... so long as... you're around." That worked better. Even flawless vampires slipped up every now and then.

She couldn't help but snicker lightly at his little mistake. "I hope that's long enough to spend enough time with you," she added, before leaning against his cold, stone-like frame.

_But hold up and let the river rush in  
You can turn around and start living again  
'Cause your life is a beautiful bloom,  
In the image of the One who created you._

"With your luck, who knows?" The mood had considerably eased, the tension lighter. Still, the thought of her dy... ceasing to ex... not being there was something that made him tremble a little. _Him._ A _vampire._ Huh, so there was something that made them fear other than other immortals.

"So, you're not leaving," Bella suggested. She had to be certain, and she wanted to hear it from his lips specifically.

"No, I'm not," he assured, kissing her cheek with his cold lips, "I thought we've been through this. Bella, you know I won't leave you. I love you too much. I love _myself _too much to leave. It hurts me too, you know."

_I'll keep the light on, for you.  
Just keep the course, you can weather the storm  
I'll keep the light on, for you.  
You've come this far, don't you ever lose heart, now._

Bella snuggled in closer, resting her arms around his chest and squeezing in an effort to hug him. Not much worth it, as she couldn't really do it, but she was glad she put forth the effort. Edward seemed to enjoy it, too, seeing as how he sighed with a bit of pleasure at the warmth.

"I'll never leave," he assured again, his voice in a whisper, "Never."

With all the danger present, how could he leave? Victoria was seriously cheesed off and seeking vengeance for James' death, there were werewolves running around everywhere, and not to mention anything else they might encounter. She felt a million times safer with him there.

_Just turn around and I'll be there,  
I'm movin' into your atmosphere  
Just turn around and I'll be there,  
I'm movin' into your atmosphere_

_I'll be there..._

"I mean every word I said today," he said quietly, barely audible even though his mouth was an inch away from her ear, "about me staying. About me loving you. About everything. What more can I do to prove it to you?"

Movement suddenly stirred the woods around them, the sounds of rustling leaves sending shivers up Bella's spine. She clung tighter to Edward, who continued to remain motionlessly engrossed in her presence. She shut her eyes, almost feeling the end coming on...

"It's a squirrel, Bella," he muttered, shaking his head. "Did you know, Kazakh scientists have proven womens' brains to be size of squirrel's?"

"Not you, too," she muttered, though she couldn't help but giggle at his bad imitation of the fictitious Kazakh reporter. Oh well, some people just weren't meant to be Borat impersonators. "Sorry. You can't really blame me. I mean, trouble from all sides, you know."

"No, can't blame you. But just what have I said?" One golden eye open as he stared her down, she shrunk back, only to come back and cling to him like a firm foundation in a flood.

_Said I'll be there, said I'll be there,  
Said I'll be there, always, forever  
Said I'll be there, said I'll be there,  
Said I'll be there, always, forever_

"I know," she muttered, hugging him again. Edward smiled that crooked smile she loved, and rested his arm around her shoulders to hug her closer. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Bella. Trust me this time?" How could she not? He was going to protect her, keep her safe, love her.

It was all she really needed.

_Said I'll be there, said I'll be there,  
Said I'll be there, always, forever  
Said I'll be there, said I'll be there,  
Said I'll be there, always, forever._


End file.
